Episode:Â 26
The Therapy Session – Self-Care, Separation, and Healing Your Inner Child
With Layne Beachley, Tess Brouwer and Lael Stone
Listen on:
What happens when a therapist turns the mirror on you?
In this raw and deeply moving episode, Tess and Layne hand the reins to therapist Lael Stone for a live mini therapy session, exploring the childhood imprints that shape our relationship to self-care, boundaries, and the stories we carry into parenthood. Tess opens up about her deep fear of missing out on moments with her son Benji, and how the pain of being moved between houses as a three-year-old after her parents’ divorce still surfaces every time she has to say goodbye. Layne shares the profound impact of losing her adoptive mother at seven and being adopted at birth after being conceived through date rape, revealing how the ocean became her mother love and her place of surrender.
Lael gently guides both women through what was modelled to them around self-care growing up, from diet culture and martyrdom to the unspoken message that resting means you’re lazy. She then takes Tess deeper into the root of her separation anxiety, showing how three-year-old Tess is the one saying goodbye to Benji each morning, not the adult. It is a moment of real breakthrough, tears and all.
Together they explore how our family of origin stories show up in our parenting, why we overcompensate for the pain we felt as children, and what it takes to disentangle the threads so we can show up as integrated adults. This is a real, vulnerable look at the inner work of motherhood and healing, not a textbook. You will hear the tears as well as the tools.
If you have ever thought, “Why does leaving my child feel so hard?” or “Why can’t I just let myself rest?” this conversation will feel like a mirror and a permission slip.
What you will learn:
- How your childhood imprints around self-care shape your adult relationship to rest, guilt, and boundaries
- Why so many women daydream about going to hospital for a break, and what that really means
- How the stories from your family of origin show up in your parenting without you realising
- The difference between your childhood story and your child’s story, and why disentangling them is essential
- Simple tools for reparenting your inner child, including compassion, journaling, and giving your younger self the words she needed
- Why tears are a gift and feeling your feelings is the first step toward healing
- How healing your own wounds can free your children from carrying stories that were never theirs
5 Key takeaways
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Your Self-Care Story Started Before You Did Lael asks both Tess and Layne to reflect on what was modelled to them around self-care growing up. From diet culture to martyrdom to the unspoken rule that resting means laziness, these imprints are often the hidden block that stops women from actually allowing themselves to rest, even when they know they need it.
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Self-Care Does Not Have To Come At A Cost Tess reveals her deep belief that self-care comes at the cost of missing out on precious moments with her son Benji. Lael reframes this by showing that we can meet all our needs at once. It is not either connection or self-care. The invitation is to open up to the possibility that both can exist together
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Your Inner Child Is Running The Show Tess traces her separation anxiety back to being three years old and shuttled between her parents’ homes after their divorce. Lael points out that when Tess says goodbye to Benji at daycare, it is not the adult saying goodbye. It is three-year-old Tess reliving the pain of being left. That recognition is the first step toward healing
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Tears Are The Healing Lael welcomes Tess’s tears as a gift, explaining that crying is one of the most powerful release mechanisms we have. The process of identifying the story, feeling it fully, and then offering compassion to your younger self is the path to integration. You do not need to fix the feeling. You need to feel it.
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When You Heal Your Story, Your Children Do Not Have To Carry It Lael explains that when we leave our childhood wounds unprocessed, we unconsciously place them on our children’s shoulders. By doing the work of feeling, acknowledging, and reparenting the younger parts of ourselves, we complete the story so our kids can write their own. That is the real gift of inner work.
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Disclaimer
The A Wake Up Call podcast is created for general informational, educational, and inspirational purposes only. The stories, tools, and insights shared are designed to support your wellbeing journey - not to replace professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. In fact, we believe therapy is non-negotiable in life.
If you’re experiencing a medical or mental health condition, please seek guidance from a qualified healthcare professional. Never ignore or delay seeking professional advice because of something you’ve heard on this podcast.
Your wellbeing matters. Take care of yourself, stay curious, and remember the real wake-up call is listening to what your body and mind are trying to tell you.
