Episode:Â 23
Human Connection Saved My Life
With Layne Beachley, Tess Brouwer and Barry Du Bois
Listen on:
How do you come back from the edge when life has stripped away your certainty, your identity, and your sense of self?
In this raw and deeply moving episode, Tess and Layne sit down with Barry Du Bois to unpack the wake up calls that reshaped his life from the inside out. Barry shares the devastating road of infertility and repeated miscarriage, the crushing grief of losing his mother, his wife’s cervical cancer diagnosis, and the depression that slowly disconnected him from everyone around him, including himself.
He opens up about the night he sat in his car and decided he had had enough, and the phone call from a former apprentice that interrupted everything. Barry reflects on the hug that became a turning point, the return of human connection, and the tiny moments that brought him back to life, from walking on the beach to feeling the sun on his chest again.
They also explore what happened years later when Barry was told he had three months to live, why he asked one of the doctors to leave the room, and how self belief, curiosity, and a refusal to hand his story over to fear became central to the way he faced cancer, fatherhood, and life itself.
Together they unpack masculinity, emotional suppression, resilience, mental health, community, and what it really means to live. This is a conversation about pain, but it is also about warmth, bravery, humour, purpose, and choosing life one small decision at a time.
If you have ever felt disconnected, shut down your emotions, questioned your worth, or wondered how to come back to yourself after life knocks the breath out of you, this episode will feel like both a mirror and a lifeline.
What you will learn:
- What depression and disconnection can really feel like when someone is silently carrying grief, trauma, and shame
- Why human connection was the first thing that brought Barry back from the edge, not advice, not fixing, just feeling safe
- How curiosity became one of Barry’s most powerful tools for healing, growth, and rebuilding self belief
- Why resilience is not toughness, but the ability to adapt, change, and keep moving toward life
- What Barry learned from facing infertility, suicidality, cancer, and fatherhood, and how those experiences changed his definition of a good life
- Why asking someone how you can help is far more powerful than telling them what they need to do
- How purpose shifted for Barry from ego and legacy to energy, presence, and strengthening the people around him
5 Key takeaways
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Human Connection Can Be the First Step Back to Life Barry shares that what interrupted his darkest moment was not a perfect intervention or a piece of advice. It was a phone call, a voice that stayed with him, and a hug from someone who simply wanted him to know he was not alone. Feeling safe again became the first crack of light.
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Depression Grows in Silence and Disconnection Barry explains that true depression felt like a complete disconnection from other humans and from himself. Over time he stopped talking, stopped sharing, pushed people away, and lost the habits that anchor wellbeing. His story is a reminder that depression often builds slowly and invisibly.
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Curiosity Is a Powerful Tool for Healing One of Barry’s simplest but most profound practices is curiosity. How can I do this a little better? How can I connect better, eat better, move better, live better? That posture of curiosity helped him begin rebuilding when everything felt dark and shut down.
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Resilience Is About Adapting, Not Pretending to Be Tough Barry speaks honestly about how trying to be the strong one disconnected him from emotion and support. What he now calls resilience is not stoicism or suppression. It is the willingness to adapt, to change, and to keep choosing life even when life does not go to plan.
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Living Means Giving Others the Best Chance to Thrive After infertility, depression, cancer, and becoming a father later in life, Barry’s definition of success has shifted. He is less interested in legacy and more interested in living. For him, living means strengthening his community and giving the people he loves the best opportunity to live well too.
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Disclaimer
The A Wake Up Call podcast is created for general informational, educational, and inspirational purposes only. The stories, tools, and insights shared are designed to support your wellbeing journey - not to replace professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. In fact, we believe therapy is non-negotiable in life.
If you’re experiencing a medical or mental health condition, please seek guidance from a qualified healthcare professional. Never ignore or delay seeking professional advice because of something you’ve heard on this podcast.
Your wellbeing matters. Take care of yourself, stay curious, and remember the real wake-up call is listening to what your body and mind are trying to tell you.
