Episode:Â 20
The Blame Game – Dropping Shame, Owning Your Part, and Setting Yourself Free
With Layne Beachley and Tess Brouwer
Listen on:
What if your brain is not broken, it is just trained?
What if your brain is not broken, it is just trained?
In this science packed and joy filled episode, Tess and Layne welcome back positive psychology expert Sue Langley to take us back to school. Not the fluffy kind. The scientific study of human flourishing.
Sue explains what positive psychology really is and why it exists. After decades of focusing on what is wrong with people, this field asks a different question: what does it look like when individuals, teams and organisations are at their best?
From there, the conversation becomes a playful masterclass in how your brain is wired for negativity, how labels quietly run your life, and how tiny daily choices can shape your wellbeing more than you realise.
You will hear about Velcro and Glad Wrap, collective effervescence at Metallica concerts and Christmas chaos, the nursing home study that changed mortality rates through autonomy and purpose, psychological richness and why an interesting life matters, plus Sue’s feather brick truck theory for when life is trying to get your attention.
If you want to be your best self more frequently, this episode will retrain the way you see your own mind.
What you will learn:
- What positive psychology is and why it is science, not just “good vibes”
- Why negativity is Velcro and happiness needs repetition to stick
- How to train your brain to notice more good, more often
- The trap of labels and the invisible rules they create
- The nursing home study and how autonomy and purpose changed outcomes
- Collective effervescence and why shared moments bond us
- Psychological richness and why an interesting life beats a perfect one
- Feather brick truck and how life escalates when we ignore the signs
- Primal beliefs and how your view of the world shapes wellbeing
- Why being your best self more frequently is a powerful mindset for 2026
5 Key takeaways
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Your Brain Is Trained, Not Broken Sue explains that the brain defaults to threat because it is wired for survival. Negativity sticks like Velcro. Positive moments need attention and repetition to embed. What you practise noticing becomes what you experience more of.
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Labels Become Invisible Rules The moment you say “I am not sporty” or “I am not good at that,” you create a category. Categories come with implied rules. Without realising it, you start living by them. Change the label and you change the behaviour.
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Autonomy And Purpose Change Health Outcomes In a famous nursing home study, residents given a plant to care for and a choice of dinner sitting experienced dramatically better outcomes. Choice restores autonomy. Caring restores purpose. Both signal to the nervous system: I matter.
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Shared Energy Heals Collective effervescence is that buzzing, bonded energy you feel at concerts, sporting events, church, family rituals or under sparkling lights. When we share emotion and action, we lose ourselves in something bigger. That bonding lifts wellbeing.
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A Rich Life Is Not A Perfect Life Psychological richness is about variety, novelty and experience. It is choosing a different street to run down, ordering something new, stretching your comfort zone, or learning from a hard season. An interesting life can be as meaningful as a comfortable one.
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Disclaimer
The A Wake Up Call podcast is created for general informational, educational, and inspirational purposes only. The stories, tools, and insights shared are designed to support your wellbeing journey - not to replace professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. In fact, we believe therapy is non-negotiable in life.
If you’re experiencing a medical or mental health condition, please seek guidance from a qualified healthcare professional. Never ignore or delay seeking professional advice because of something you’ve heard on this podcast.
Your wellbeing matters. Take care of yourself, stay curious, and remember the real wake-up call is listening to what your body and mind are trying to tell you.
