Episode:Â 13
Rest Without Guilt: Regulating Your Nervous System
With Layne Beachley, Tess Brouwer and Dr Stacy Sims
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How do you slow down when your body feels constantly on edge?
In this deeply grounding and practical episode, Tess and Layne respond to a powerful listener question that so many people silently carry: why does rest feel lazy, selfish, or wrong, even when we know we need it?
A working mum of three writes in to share her guilt around slowing down, filling her own cup, and prioritising self care without feeling like she is letting everyone else down. From there, Tess and Layne unpack why this guilt is so common, especially for women, and how it is wired into our nervous system through years of conditioning around worth, productivity, and being needed.
Layne speaks directly to the belief that rest equals laziness. She explains how constantly putting yourself last does not make you selfless or strong, it quietly leads to depletion, resentment, emotional overload, and disconnection from the people you love most.
Tess shares how nervous system overload shows up in her own body, from racing thoughts and decision paralysis to the moment she literally cannot think. She opens up about the early warning signs she now recognises, the importance of clear work life and role based boundaries, and the small daily practices that help her reset before burnout takes hold.
Together, they explain the difference between the sympathetic nervous system, where the body lives in stress and survival, and the parasympathetic nervous system, where rest, repair, and clarity live. They make it clear why mindset alone cannot regulate stress. The fastest way back to calm is through the body, not the brain.
You will be guided through simple, science backed breathing techniques you can use in real moments of overwhelm, anxiety, and fatigue, including box breathing, the physiological sigh, and slow exhales designed to support sleep and deep regulation.
This episode is a reminder that you do not need to overhaul your life to feel better. You need intentional pauses, protected boundaries, and small daily resets that tell your nervous system it is safe to slow down.
If you have ever thought, “Why do I feel guilty when I rest?” or “Why am I doing so much but still feel fried?” this conversation will feel like permission, perspective, and a practical reset.
You’ll learn:
- Why rest often triggers guilt, especially for parents and high performers
- How chronic stress and burnout show up in the nervous system
- The difference between sympathetic (fight or flight) and parasympathetic (rest and digest) states
- Why breath is the fastest way to regulate your nervous system
- Three practical breathing tools you can use for anxiety, overwhelm, and sleep
- How micro breaks, boundaries, and moments of awe protect your energy
- Why nature is one of the most powerful nervous system regulators we have
5 Key takeaways
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Feeling guilty for resting is a learned belief, not a truth Layne explains that many of us link our worth to productivity. When we stop, guilt appears. That guilt is not intuition. It is conditioning. Rest allows you to show up as your best self, not your most exhausted one.
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Burnout shows up in the body before it becomes a breakdown Tess describes the early signs she now watches for, including racing thoughts, rapid heart rate, grinding teeth, and the inability to think clearly. These signals are your nervous system asking for relief, not more pushing.
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Breath is the fastest reset tool you have The parasympathetic nervous system is activated through slow, intentional breathing. You are guided through box breathing, the physiological sigh, and a long exhale breath to support calm and sleep. These tools work because they speak directly to the body.
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Boundaries matter more than balance This episode reframes work life balance as work life boundaries. Doing one thing at a time, eating lunch away from your desk, and putting your phone away during rest are powerful nervous system resets, even if they only last minutes.
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Awe and nature get you off the hamster wheel Moments of awe, like watching a sunrise, standing barefoot on the grass, or sitting outside without distraction, remind your nervous system there is more to life than urgency. Scheduling these moments helps you step off the hamster wheel and reconnect with yourself.
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Disclaimer
The A Wake Up Call podcast is created for general informational, educational, and inspirational purposes only. The stories, tools, and insights shared are designed to support your wellbeing journey - not to replace professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. In fact, we believe therapy is non-negotiable in life.
If you’re experiencing a medical or mental health condition, please seek guidance from a qualified healthcare professional. Never ignore or delay seeking professional advice because of something you’ve heard on this podcast.
Your wellbeing matters. Take care of yourself, stay curious, and remember the real wake-up call is listening to what your body and mind are trying to tell you.
