Sam Fricker on Trust, Setbacks and Showing Up

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Welcome back, Dream Team. Today's episode on A Wake Up Call is someone who we admire greatly for the human behind the person on the diving board.

Welcome, Sam Fricker, to A Wake Up Call. Thank you guys so much for having me. Sam is an Olympic diver, a Commonwealth Games bronze medalist.

What's the name as the Commonwealth Games? What did I say? Commonwealth Games.

Oh yeah. Well, it's not that common. The Commonwealth can show up and have a crash.

He's an entrepreneur and one of Australia's biggest athlete creators and probably just a creator in general. He became an Olympian at 19, and his family moved from Newcastle to Sydney so he can train

at the New South Wales Institute of Sport. They won't let me forget about that. No.

The family won't? Oh, my siblings. When I was younger, they were pretty tough on me.

Yeah. They were like, "You better make the Olympics." Did that put extra pressure on you?

For sure. Yeah. Okay.

We're going to talk about that. Yeah. Outside of the pool, he's an incredible human.

You do so much advocacy in the space of well-being, mental health. You've certainly inspired LB's life by jumping off a 10-meter platform. She inspired me with that.

Nice. Thank you. I didn't do the 10-meter.

And Sam has got more than 9 million people following him, which not to overwhelm you, but that generates billions of views every year. And you built a business from 17, and you now host a podcast called Diving Deep.

I have a crack. Yeah. You do have a crack, don't you?

You've definitely got an inner drive that we want to dig into today. We want to dive deep with Sam. One of the most fascinating stories is the moment that you missed Paris Olympics, and

you had to rebuild an identity. And that's something that we really focus on in here, is the rebuild. And now you're chasing LA, 2028, and Brisbane, 2032.

And you've come straight from training to be here with us today. Hair is dry, though. It's a beautiful mop of hair there.

Thank you. Yeah. We do a gym of the morning and dive of an afternoon, so we'll be back in the Speedos soon.

Ah, okay. The Nike Speedos. No, they're not yet.

We're looking for a sponsor, though. One day. Nike Reach Out.

So today, we're talking about pressure failure focus in the two school boards we all live with. And it depends when you learn to use feedback without letting it become your identity.

Sam Fricker, welcome to A Wake Up Call. Thank you guys so much for having me. I feel like I introjected a lot during that intro as well.

Standard light. If you don't, I do. It's great to be here.

And I'm inspired by the stuff you guys do as well, so thanks for having me. Thank you.

"Okay, things needed to be done a little differently now?" There's kind of two I think of. One was personally, and that would have been when after they moved the Olympics back and

we were all in COVID and we couldn't train. Japan? There was just before Japan.

Yeah, just before Tokyo. So 2020, because they moved the Olympics to 2021, we were training in lockdown and I hated it.

I hated Zoom calls. I didn't like training at home because I preferred to be with the team and train with the team and I couldn't do that.

And I wasn't training as hard as I could because we were at home and I struggled with it. And then we got back to training and I was in a bit of a slump, like trying to get back into training.

And my coach pulled me aside and said that if you don't kind of pull your head in and start training harder, those Olympic trials are going to roll around and you might miss the team and you'll never forgive yourself.

So he said that you've got to really show up and bring more to training after COVID. So I felt like that was a real honest conversation that kind of was a bit of a wake up call for me.

Did it just turn something on in you that went, "Okay, I've got to get out of this right now and embrace the process?" I feel like it wasn't like flicking a switch.

It was more like, "Okay, I'm not showing up the way I need to show up. Where can I make some changes to do that?" And then slowly I was able to deliver more training, because when you...

Like a little catapult. Yeah, like I had to slowly make changes so I could show up better because you might be showing up and giving your best, but it's not enough.

You just go through the motions. Yeah. So maybe you've got to show up differently so you can give more.

So that was a bit of a wake up call for me. And so, like, a lot of people come in here and say, "Oh, I collapsed," or "I had ended up in hospital."

But I love that you're exploring this moment of not being motivated, someone calling you out on it. It's like, I remember being called out that I was depressed.

I'm like, "(Expletive). I'm not depressed." Yeah.

But I really was. No, I'm not. Yeah.

No, I'm not. I'm fine. But it's so hard to see out of that.

What did that lack of motivation show up in? Like, how did that show up in your life, and then what were the changes you had to do? It shows up in even the way you present yourself, you know, if you think about someone who's

not very motivated, not very struggling, like, you can nearly visualize what they would look like at training. You know, not...

Their head's not up. They might be looking down. Dishevelled.

Yeah. They might not have that energy around them. Like, when I'm at training, I'd normally pride myself on being extremely vibrant in loving

what I do and doing it to the best of my abilities, and during that time. And there's different phases of training, but during that particular time, I was just struggling with the motivation, because we had no comps for over a year.

You nearly forget why you train hard. When those comps come back, and you realize that you're competing against these other people, you get that motivation in training, because you want to be up on that leaderboard.

You want to rank highly, but without those comps, I found it really difficult. So how did it show up? It's like, where you just, your body language, the way you presented yourself...

It even showed up in, like, you're going for a dive, and you nearly don't have the energy to give it the intensity that that dive deserves. And it's dangerous when you stand on a 10-meter platform, and you're not giving it energy.

It certainly is. And then that kind of spirals into, "I don't have the energy for the dive. What if I make a mistake?"

And then it can be a massive spiral from there. So it affects the whole array of training. What a metaphor for life.

How you show up on the board, or the platform, is it? Yeah. I really think about showing up is such an important thing.

How you show up to anything. How you show up to the podcast. Are you ready?

How you show up to surf a wave, or to prepare for a podcast. I think showing up is so important. And that's something I do pride myself in, but it is something that I struggled with.

So what were the changes that you made? More sleep. Sleep's so important.

I know when I sleep good, I actually have the motivation to be who I want to be. So sleeping well. Also trying to enjoy training.

Trying not to push through it, but trying to enjoy it. I do enjoy training, but during that time, of course, when things are bad, it's tough to enjoy it when it's bad.

So I was like, "What can I enjoy about it?" I'm just enjoying the emotions in the air. So trying to rest more, focus more on enjoying training, and that helped get me through it.

And then also thinking about those comps ahead. Because at the time too, I didn't think it was super possible for me to make the Olympics. Really?

There's a lot of people that are better than me at the time, yeah. Interesting.

I watched even Olympic champions win a gold medal, and then struggle in certain areas of life, and it really showed me that I had to prepare things for outside of diving for when I finished.

Because you see someone who reaches the absolute pinnacle in their sport, and then struggles outside of sport. And you think, "How can that be if you've been so good at something to struggle in many

other areas of life?" And you adapt to life. Adapt to life and also for work, because Olympic sports don't pay anything.

A lot of Olympians struggle financially, even Olympic champions, and it's tough to grapple with that. So it's something I always saw.

I thought being the best diver won't be enough. I've got to be good at other things as well if I want to live a whole rounded life. Impressive.

At such a young age too, because very few... How old were you when you had that realisation? I would have been quite young.

About 19? Yeah, maybe even younger. Okay, so very few teenagers start thinking about what life after their profession is

going to look like when you hadn't even appeared in Olympics before that anyway. So what were you starting to think about? What were you starting to visualise or consider for yourself after an Olympic diving career?

And I don't even know exactly what I'll do after diving, but I knew I had to start building some things on the side. So I was really passionate about sustainability, and that's why I started my first company,

Sam's Straws, because I saw the video of the plastic straw stuck in the turtle's nose. That became one of my first major focuses outside of the pool. My first coach, because I was so obsessed with diving as a kid when I was 13, all I'd

do is just train and think about training and then go home and relay training in my mind. If I had a bad session, I'd really struggle.

I'm sure you guys can relate to that. If you fall off a wave and then you just feel like sometimes a bad person. Well, that's something I struggled with.

If I had a bad session, I felt like I wasn't valued as a person when I was very young, but that was internally. And my first coach said I had to build things outside the pool, so I wasn't so reliant on

diving for my self-worth as a kid. So she actually encouraged me to do that, and then I did Sam's Straws, and that gave me something not just that I loved, but also to build something that was separate to diving.

For a purpose, the world is bigger than diving, and you can make impact on that big, beautiful world as well. Even though he did start diving to earn the adoration of a young girl.

I'm a simple man. It's so funny because you oscillate between an intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation, and then you're kind of like-

Complicated beings. Yeah. We really are.

My first coach in the high performance institute, her name was Vinika Arlo. Yeah. And I wore this top believe today because of what she installed in you.

And there are a lot of parents that we speak to, and we're trying to help our kids become better to believe in themselves more, to trust themselves, like we've almost become these helicopter parents.

But she, it sounds like she has installed some really big learning lessons into your life. Can you talk about that from a belief perspective? Yeah.

One thing, I remember I injured my wrist at training, and she was a good mentor for not just being a good diving coach, but also a good life coach. I injured my wrist at training one day, and I went to get some ice and a bag.

And I accidentally pulled out two plastic bags because that was the only ones they had back then. And she said, "No, make sure you put one back, you want to be wasting plastic."

And I thought, "Oh, wow, something as small as me just getting ice for my wrist. I have to be thinking about the impacts of the environment and the impacts that I'm having on the world."

And I was quite young then, maybe about 13, 14. And I thought that was really a moment that I remembered that those small things really do matter.

And there was a lot of those things that she taught me, not just from diving, but from being a good person as well. And you learn a lot more from watching than I think you do from people telling you.

And even just being around these people at training, I felt kind of straightened me out as a person. Because I got a lot of trouble as a kid.

I was pretty naughty. But I was kind of scared of her as a kid too. Kids do learn more from what they see than what they're told.

I remember Anna Meares famously saying, "A good coach can change your performance, but a great coach can change your life." And we often talk at Awake Academy about dream team members and how influential and impactful

they can be in your life. You've had quite a few impactful dream team members in your life, apart from that one coach.

There's been a couple more, hasn't there? There sure has. There's even another beautiful lady called Trina, and she's a business partner with

another friend of mine called Timothy Johnson, who does artworks. And they do business together. Tim does the art.

She runs the business. It's fascinating. And she has done a lot of work with government at major events.

And she's also someone that generated a lot of her time just to help and train me on different sustainability projects. She was the first person that introduced me to working with government, going to your

local council and talking to them about what you want to change in the environment or suggesting ideas for could we have a different bin for soft plastics versus hard plastics or things that can be recycled versus things that can't be super recycled.

People like that, being so generous with their time makes me very grateful, but also has taught me a lot. About being generous with your time as well.

I try to be as generous as I can be to the people around me. Yeah, and using your voice for impact, right? Yeah, I find in terms of making content for good, it's not even necessarily something

I made a choice about, just I just like doing it. Yeah. I like to focus on the positives and the good stuff.

Yeah. There's a lot of bad out there. Yeah.

And there's a saying I have. It's if you look for the light, you'll find it, but if you look for the dark, it's all you'll see.

And I like to try to share and be that light everywhere I can be.

What? Media. You put it on yourself.

Yeah, you put it on yourself. That's where I want to go. Yeah.

How much, how hard have you had to work in your young beautiful life to monitor the pressure from within? And how do you do that?

It's something that I always found really difficult as a kid. It's something I still, it's still difficult for me to deal with pressure when I compete. And I even had one of the Olympic medalists come up to me and can't warm up and say, "Do

you not get nervous, Sam?" And I was like, "No, I'm very nervous." She's like, "Oh, I can never tell," which is a good thing.

No one should know. Yes. But you're always nervous when you compete.

I thought even now with my experience in diving after over a decade of competing that I'd be way more chill about it, but I'm not, I still get quite nervous. You find ways of dealing with it.

Have you had to reframe the word pressure? I don't think of pressure. I think of nerves that I want to achieve a certain outcome.

And I don't want to let myself down. I don't want to let my team down. Like you don't want to let your coach down.

You don't want to let the people around you down. And yeah, even yourself, you don't let yourself down because you put so much work into it. So it's something as a kid too.

I remember being as young as 13 competing in the diving comp, like waiting for my next dive in the stairwell and just being super nervous. And it was part of the game.

Yeah. Nerves mean you care. They do.

I mean, I've been competing for 40 years. I still get nervous when I put the rash fist on. It's all part of it.

You've got that ahead of you. Yeah. It's fantastic.

I've been very short. It won't go away. No.

Well, it can be a good thing because like I said, it means you care and you can channel it into performance. And one thing I learned that it takes the same amount of energy to be nervous as it

does to be excited. So channel it into excitement versus nervousness. I feel that when nerves can be compounding and sabotaging, they can really unsettle

you is when you put your desire outside of yourself. So when the motivation becomes extrinsic and you're worrying about what people think or whether you're worrying about letting somebody down or upsetting somebody, that's what creates

more nervousness and more tension. But putting that kind of pressure on yourself comes down to the individual. Does that bring the best out of you or does it actually sabotage your performance?

And every day is different, right? And what you're saying is so spot on. I actually know the feeling difference of when I feel nervous excited to go out there

and dive well. And I dive well versus that nervous and overwhelmed by those nerves. And I know that different feeling.

And I can think of times where I felt that excited nervous and dominate. Where I've let the nerves get the better of me and I've performed terribly because it felt out of my control.

Can you articulate what nervous excited feels like versus nervous overwhelmed? Nervous excited for me is when I feel like I'm on top of the problem. I feel like I'm on top of my dives and I'm ready to get out there and show the world

what I can do. And then the other feeling is I actually don't feel confident in my dive and I'm nervous about what I'm about to do.

And it can come a lot down to training and how you're feeling. But also just mental, like mental astuity on the day to focus on the positives and focus on what works for me.

And there's some mental tricks I've tried that don't work. And there's some that do. And for example, I had a terrible comp earlier this year and there was one other time where

I had a bad comp where training had been extremely good. And all I had to do was just do a dying training. And I'd focused on, all right, I'm just gonna, you know, visualize me having finished the

comp and doing well instead of focusing on the comp dive by dive. And that forward thinking... Future thinking, forward visualization didn't work.

Not in the comp, before the comp, like visualizing me winning, visualizing, again, the result I want is super, super, super important. But when you're in the moment, I've got to focus in the moment.

But I've learnt that twice now. I should have learnt it once. Three times the chance.

Hopefully not. Like, now I find just focusing on that dive in that moment on what I've got to do gives me the best chance.

That mistake still happened. Of course. It gives me the best chance.

One of the quickest ways to mitigate self-doubt is to follow process. Keep coming back to the process, simplify the process, because the outcome will take care of itself.

But if you get too swept up in the outcome, you're now detaching from process. And that's where doubt creeps in. And I've made that mistake twice, and I've paid the price.

Welcome to being human. It's funny, because if you watch the Rafa Nadal documentary, and his processes almost got out of control because everything had to be light, like the process became the anxiety

trigger.

Yeah, it's interesting. I used to be a little bit superstitious. This process, I want to put my shammy here, I want to do that.

And Melissa Wu, Olympic medalist, she got up and gave a talk to us once. It's amazing how you can train with someone every day, but still have a lot to learn from them.

She gave up and gave a speech. She spoke about how superstitions are to a degree, not process, but superstitions can be a weakness.

That if you need to do a certain thing, if you're not able to do that thing in the moment of pressure, you can fumble under, no mistake, but your own negative thinking. From there, I try to steer away from any superstition, but process is critically important.

For example, if I'm standing behind the boards and I'm about to get up and do one of my dives, say the reverse three and a half twist, and you're in a couple of hour pre-limb, so you might have done this dive two, three hours ago on the warm up, and now you've got to

go off and basically do it fresh in the comp under pressure. Judges are watching, and it's such a long event. Those long events are really draining.

All I'd be thinking was just staying nice and calm and the keywords for that dive. The keywords for that dive for me is to reach really tall in the hurdle. When I jump, reach really tall in the hurdle to get in the end of the board, and then I

just think bang fast, which means in my mind fast arms when I'm taking off, which gives me the speed, and then the body will take care of the rest. I just use those two keywords to nail that dive, and then obviously just being present

enough to know what I need to do, and that's how I deal with the pressure. Anytime a negative thought comes in, I just think, no, I'm going to think reach and bang, and that's what I focus on.

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It helps us grow the show and keep bringing these conversations to more people. I wonder if we'd have to go back, because I watched the Rafa documentary, and I'm wondering if he stepped on a line, what that would have done, because he's always stepping across

the lines and the water bottles had to be lined up. I remember when a ball knocked over one of the water bottles during a match, and I think it unraveled him.

Yeah, it would do.

Your diving board would sometimes be my bed bath routine with my son Benji in the chaos of my house. I always have to say to myself, what kind of mum do I want to be?

Present, loving, and calm. It helps me when I know I've got 50,000 emails, lots of people that are trying to get ahold of me, all of the pressure going on.

If I'm not present, kind, and calm, then I can switch out. For the listener at home, think of what your straight arms and bang is in those moments of pressure, and that it really has helped me.

Yeah, keeping things as simple as possible, and I often refer to a process when I tell a story about riding a 50-foot wave, because there's so many variables, there's so many things outside of our control, and if you keep focusing on them, similar to your quote

around the darkness, that's what you can tend to focus on and what you focus on expands. The last thing I wanted to focus on is all the things that could have possibly gone wrong in that particular moment, because diving off a 10-meter platform can result in serious

injury, if not paralysis, so you don't want to mess that up. I have before, and I reckon you get more nervous once you have, because you know what you're in for.

Yeah, well, yeah, but sometimes, actually, when I go out in really big waves, I need to get wiped out from the start, because then I realize it's not that bad, and then I stop fearing it.

But if I don't get wiped out, then I start getting nervous and anxious about being wiped out. So, once you've gone through it, you know you can handle it.

You're nearly more relaxed, so it's like, "All right, it might be shit, but I've got the skills to deal with it." We call it the first pancake.

It's always shit. That's good. But your result of falling off that 50-foot wave was death, so you had to simplify that

process, right? Exactly. I had to simplify the process, and there's so many things I could have focused on, but

I chose the three things that would increase the likelihood of success that day. Now, there's two things I wanted to achieve that day, one, I wanted to survive. Rule one of the game, stay alive, stay alive.

Number two, successfully ride a wave. And what were those three things you focused on to get it right? Hold onto the tow rope, because if I don't hold onto the tow rope, I had to be towed into

waves this big. I'm moving 60, 70 Ks an hour on my feet, so I towed in by a jet ski. I can't paddle that fast.

So hold onto the tow rope, keep the weight of my board even, so keep the weight over my board even because then it planes super fast, and keep the nose of the board out of the water.

So if I'm focusing on what I do want, I manifest more of what I do want. If I'm focusing on what I don't want, I manifest more of what I don't want. So if I said don't let go of the rope, don't let my weight get uneven, and don't let the

nose drop, then I'll be focusing on what I don't want. And that's how we often communicate to people. I don't want you to think, I don't want you to feel.

It's how we communicate to kids. Don't drop it, don't screw it up, don't do that, don't do that. We hear don't more than we hear do.

Yeah, we hear don't about 40,000 times the time we reach teenagers, and we hear yes about 5,000 times. I love the focus on the positive affirmations.

I said don't drop it, it's like, oh, it's really good when you hold it. Yeah. Yeah.

Or instead of be careful, it's like, where are your feet? Where's your balance? It's about bringing that free frame.

It requires a lot of intention to do that, and presence, and calmness. You actually have to take a breath before you react, and when you're in the life, when you're in the moment of chaos, and everything's coming at you, it's really challenging to have the

presence to go. I learned that on top of a 50-foot wave because my ego got to my head and went don't fall. I thought that's the last thing I want to think about when I'm standing on top

of a 50-foot wave going 60 k's an hour about to put my weight on my front foot to drive down it. The first thing I asked myself in that moment was what do I want?

The first thing that came to mind was just stay standing. I thought that's a good outcome. I'll go with that.

Just stay standing. I think that's such a key high-performance strategy of focusing on the positives. It could not be more overstated that I think that's one of the best things you could do

in any area of life. What if it works? What if I get it done?

Yeah. Who are you talking about? How did you learn that?

I listened to a lot of self-talk audio books and not motivational speakers, but nearly mentors that you've never met. There's a guy named Jim Rohn who just talks about good philosophy on life.

He's nearly one of the inventors of personal development. He taught Tony Robbins, who of course is one of the most famous in the world now. Listening to him all the time, whenever I got stuck or felt like things were too tough,

I just listened to him and he just gave me so many one-liers I'd hit to myself like don't wish it was easier. Wish you were better.

Don't wish for less problems. Wish for more skills to be able to deal with those problems and that the winters will come. You've got to get through them and just listening to him puts me in a good space and makes me

think I can do it. If I ever feel like I can't, I typically listen to him and just get that going in my mind. Yeah, I love it.

They're like activations for me. It's beautiful. It gets you out of your head and into the reminder that you actually do have the power from within

to change it. That is the miracle, is understanding that you can change how you see the world and therefore it expands or contracts to you.

You didn't call it failure. Can we call it a setback? Okay.

A major setback. Speed bump. So talk us through Paris.

So going to Paris, I had two goals. I wanted to make the Olympics for 10-meter and I also really want to make the Olympics for three-meter synchro.

So coming into the Olympics, we have to win spots for Australia. So we've got to go out internationally and fight for them. Now when it came to the Paris Olympics, I actually won a quota spot for the nation.

So I'd gone out, I'd done that, got it for the country, which is great. And my next goal was world championships. We had three-meter synchro and it was the last chance to get a quota spot for three-meter

synchro. So I put all my focus into trying to get that and I tried some really big dives that I'd struggle with and I messed them up.

So I missed a quota spot and let my teammate down getting a quota spot for the country in that event. So why?

Yeah. I put down to... I can pinpoint why.

Keep saying trying. Stop trying, mate. Start trusting.

He's got to do it. Okay. So you're going to walk out of here with a few life lessons.

I know. I appreciate it. And now we're listening to your language that you talked to yourself.

So L.B., what have you picked up on? Well, he tries too hard. So every time you're trying, you're not trusting because trying is a lack of confidence and

belief in the self that you have what it takes to do it. So when you're trying and you're trying and you're trying, you're pushing shit uphill all the time, whereas if you're trusting, you're not trying, you're actually trusting in all

of the training, all the preparation, the skill, the experience, the team around you, and you stop questioning and doubting and you start trusting in yourself. I like this.

I'm going to take that one with me. So you are no longer allowed to say the word trying. I'm doing.

And now that you've become aware of that, you'll start becoming aware of how often you just revert to try. Try, try, try.

I'm trying. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do that.

You become aware of how much... Even once you've become aware of how much you say it, I want you to start becoming aware of how it makes you feel when you say it and then stop it and replace it with trust and

how that makes you feel inside. Trust or like I'm going... What about doing?

Doing. Doing. Yeah.

So I trust myself to do this. I like that. I'm going to try not to say that, but it's a challenge for me.

It's a self-improvement challenge. Yeah. Anyway, continue.

Thank you. Yes. Back to Paris.

Back to Paris. My goal was to get that close spot and I missed it for the three-metre synchro, but I got the 10-minute one for the country.

Then coming round to trials, because we only had the spots really for me to potentially make it for 10-minute. I tried for 10-minute and I got third at trials and top two go to the Olympics.

So I just missed out. Brutal.

worked so hard to do, you almost anchor yourself to that person who's that Olympian. That didn't happen. How did that...

How did you rebuild your identity from that? Were you shattered or were you just like, things can get better? I can work through this.

It's interesting. I had a lot of or a few major failures in diving as a young age when I went internationally for the first time and basically come last in the final, then had to come back.

You came last in your first surfing contract? First five. As a professional.

Last? Dead last. It's tough.

It is. It's tough. And you can tell yourself that, "Oh, I come last.

What if I come last again? I'm just the person that comes last." I'm a loser.

I'm a loser. Things like that. The way I got through that younger was, "If I do enough comps, I've got to do better."

Even by chance and luck. I've got to do better. And the training.

I just go better in training. If I do better in training, I can do better in comps. I just try to put the focus on the training, which is something I can control.

Keep trying. So when it came to missing out in the Olympics, did I say it again? Yeah.

It's all right. It was with... That wasn't okay.

We're trying. Yes. I was...

You lost your training. I'm trying not to say it. But because I'd done those tough values as a kid when I did my best and it didn't work,

I feel like I actually built the skills that when it happened for the Olympic trial, I knew I did everything I could and I have no regrets because if I look back, I know why I did certain things and I know that I did the best that I could and it just didn't work.

And sometimes that happens as well. Sometimes shit just doesn't work. And that's totally okay.

But to the identity piece, it's about how do you detach from that disappointment, that setback, that failure, and go, "That was today. Tomorrow's a new day."

How do you establish that kind of parameter for your own sense of self-worth so it's not wrapped up in what happened yesterday to define tomorrow? Yeah.

Because I think I really got affected by that as a kid. I built the skills that when I actually missed out on Paris, I didn't really have an identity issue.

So good. What were the skills then? I did my best.

I've been going through that multiple times as a kid with major events and making mistakes. So if that was the only failure that I'd had, I'd probably be able to struggle. But I had so many before, I really had the skills of dealing with it.

And what were those skills? It was, "Okay, what can I do now? What's next?"

Action. Try to win in any situation, not try, but do. Win in any situation, no matter what, even if it's bad, what's the next best move I can

make? Even if all your pieces are knocked off, like, "All right, what's the next best move from here?"

Even when you're in the worst situation ever, don't make it worse. How can you make it better? So I just started focusing on what was next.

Yeah. Because when I look at identity for me, it's proving myself, like, "If I don't get this, I'm not worthy.

If I don't get that, I'm not enough." It always comes back to those two, or I don't belong. Do you have a chink?

I feel... Because I did struggle with doing port, like, having wipeouts as a kid and then thinking I was useless because I did shit at the cop and feeling like without diving well, I wasn't

a successful person. I had so much of that as a kid that I've pulled back from that and learnt to try to win games and to enjoy the process, I've learnt to enjoy the process and focus on that.

Yeah. It's like, it's your post-traumatic growth. You don't realise it at the time, but, like, having those early experiences.

And it is wonderful. We had Harry Garside on here a few weeks ago. We actually are in the same apartment at the Olympics, Harry and I.

Oh, really? Yeah. We love Harry.

Got a funny story about him, actually. Oh, yeah? Share it.

I was walking around the apartment at the Olympics and I hear the motivational talks and I loved them. So I walk into Harry's room where he's got his talk on and I'm like, "Oh, Harry, what

are you listening to?" I ask him, "It's my, you know, motivational talk, getting in the great headspace." I thought, "I like that.

It's awesome." I looked over and I saw an Olympic gold medal. I was like, "Harry, did you win?"

And he said, "Nah, nah, not yet. I bought this one from Amazon. I've been visualising every night."

I thought, "Oh, that's incredible. I loved it." Yeah.

Because I'm so like that myself, you know, the motivational talks, the visualisation. Because all my biggest comps that I'd won, I'd visualise so clearly I got deja vu after it, which is beautiful.

So I thought that was so special. So Harry. It's such a...

He's done the same thing. Yeah. And I actually think you two have a really young, old, wise, our energy to each other.

But when he came, I think it was second or third, it was like, "I'm not enough." You saw the pain and the vision that it was anchored to that. And to see him work through that now, it's such a gift to have men like you talk about

these setbacks as they've sprung you forward or they've given you post reflection. At the time though, I honestly thought to myself, "What good could come from this?" Yeah.

When I've done poorly, you think even if there's a master plan, how does this help? So there's moments where you do get really, really down on yourself and it happens to all of us.

I think even for other athletes to hear that if they've ever been through that, and I'm sure they have if you're trying hard, that it's part of the game and just not accepting that that's you forever.

Yeah. Yeah. That's...

Yeah. You're not going to die on this. No.

Yeah. Exactly. So how do you get past losing your first five major events in the road?

How do I get past it? Yeah. And then start winning.

Similar to your mentality. Next one. Yeah.

I'll break through in the next one. I'll break through in the next one. Can I get second last?

Yeah. Can I get second last? Instead of last.

It's like a compounding loss effect. Yeah. What have I learned from this?

So sooner or later, you realize that the common denominator to your disappointment is you. But what aspect of you is the common denominator? Is it your mindset?

Is it your preparation? Is it your daily habits? Is it your motivation?

Is it your beliefs? Is it your lack of confidence? Is it the team that you have around you?

There's so many aspects to high performance that need to be analyzed and reassessed and drawn upon. But at the end of the day, you're the one standing on the platform.

I'm the one paddling out there with Arashi on, going out there to perform against Mother Nature. So how can I get the best out of myself in this particular moment?

Because unlike you, I have a moving environment. I have a moment where I'm having-- Whenever nature chooses to throw at you in the environment, that's incredible.

Exactly. So I go out with the greatest intentions to sit in a certain spot and pick a certain wave, and then the wind turns onshore, or the tide changes, or the swell drops.

Something just shifts all of a sudden, and you have to adapt to that really quickly. So understanding the forces that you're up against and knowing that you are well-equipped and well-prepared fills you with the confidence to stop trying and then trust in your ability

and your instincts to go out there and give it your best. But like you said, it doesn't always work out. That's the ability to detach from the outcome, keep following the process, and cut yourself

a bit of slack on the days that it doesn't work. Have compassion over criticism, and the ability to adapt to that helps you detach from the identity that you craft around it.

It helps you rewrite the story. I also think when you're going to keep competing, it gives you time to also push forward and do better next time.

Yes. I had terrible nationals this year. Yeah.

It was an event a month later over in Italy that I had to be ready for. So because I had something else, I knew I had to bounce back faster, so I did bounce back faster, and I went over there and did a lot better.

But when you're always competing to have more opportunities to prove yourself again and try again. Yeah.

Keep trying. Yeah. It helps you maintain motivation and momentum, but not every athlete gets a Cinderella story.

So that's why you have to make the most of every opportunity that you've got, because the last thing you want to do is regret how you showed up. How you showed up.

And look, we don't always show up our best selves. There's days when I showed up hungover, still drunk, poorly prepared, blaming the conditions, blaming the judges.

It's really easy to lay the blame on everyone else around you.

You've got the judges loop, and then you've got the feedback loop on social media. How do you detach from all of that? When it comes to the social media or the judging at diving, it's always, I try to put it back

on me in terms of, if I didn't do a good dive and I got bad scores, it's not the judges' fault. It's mine.

So it's something I need to go away and work on and come back and do a better dive and I'll get better scores. So I take that in a professional way of, it's not personal, they're not saying Sam's a bad

person. Yeah. I might have done a bad dive for sure.

Yeah. But it doesn't... Does it come with self-criticism?

Not necessarily the judging, because I know they're just doing their job. If I have a bad dive, it does come with self-criticism because I'm frustrated that I normally typically nail that every day in training.

And then to be able to, if you make a mistaken comment, it can be hard and you can have those negative thoughts coming in, but I try to focus on them just going back to training and making changes or going to see my sport cycle is awesome and debrief with them.

And sometimes when you've had a bad comment, it's a day or two after you're too close to figure out what went wrong. Sometimes you need a couple of weeks to really let sit, then have a look at everything that

happened and then kind of come up on your plane of attack, but having a plane of attack and making a plane. Making a plane is like my favorite thing ever.

Right. Yeah. Just make a plan, work the plane.

Right. Well, how do you shake it off in the moment? Because you've got to do three dives at the Olympics.

Six dives at the Olympics. Six dives, sir. I'll give you a good story on this then.

My first international comp, because last year I'd injured my back, I was out all year with an injured back. Very difficult to sit and watch everyone else get better, but I couldn't even touch my toes.

Wow. And I did my first international comp back, I was over in Canada. It was the only international comp I didn't final in this year, actually.

So after that, it was solid, but that particular comp, first dive of about three and a half hour prelim, I took off, could take off, and I miss my hands. Splashy entry.

Yeah. I got like threes and fours of what should have been eights, maybe eight and a halfs, because I'm so good.

I'm good at this dive. I miss my hands. First dive back.

Then for the next, you know, basically two or three hours, I got to keep fighting. And I got five more dives. It's like one dive every half an hour, 40 minutes, because there's so many people in it.

And what do you do? You just keep fighting. Yeah.

Hold the line. It's tough. It sucks.

I'm going to feel shit for the whole event. I'm going to keep fighting. And I think sometimes you just got to stick your heels in and just get it done as well.

You do, don't you? It's not feel good. Yeah.

It's not. It doesn't feel good. Be the mountain goat.

Yeah. Stick your heels in and maintain your position. Yeah.

Hang on. Sam, on that, you seem to have a very good grip of who you are and your sense of identity, particularly like it does take a certain grit or fight to show up as you do every day, like

in the pool, online, certainly us putting our viewpoints out to millions of people. You have to have a self assurance in that. Yeah.

You have nine million followers or people who are looking at you for that inspiration. What have you noticed about humanity right now? Because you would have a pretty good read on what people are saying and sentiment and

how people are feeling. I'm so curious to know what you've noticed. Because I try to always make content on positive things.

Yeah. I do get a lot of positive feedback, which is beautiful. And I try to share the things that I genuinely love.

So I'm always in a good mood doing it. So I always try to give out good vibes, but you still have people that see something great and start hating on it.

Yeah. But I've never, ever been someone to take that on board. But dad always said that you should always take pride in your reputation.

Your reputation is crucially important, but you can never be concerned about what other people think. And at the time I thought, what's the difference?

But the difference is having integrity as a person and doing what you believe is right versus doing what someone else just tells you to do for whatever reason. I think you should listen to everyone and just make up your own mind.

And through my diving, through all my work, through the incredible people that I've gotten to meet, it just shapes you as a person. And then I think you've got to protect that.

Yeah. You've got this like spongeliness too, that you just want to get the best bits of everyone. So I can see how that's given you a really good filter.

I've always been really curious. Yeah. As a kid, I used to get in trouble for asking too many questions.

Yeah. Why, why, why, why, why? Yeah.

But I want to know. How, how, how? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Help me shortcut the struggle.

How do you do that? Yeah. How can I do that too?

I think it's an awesome trait because I think you understand more. Yeah. Yeah.

You can be their sponge. What are your tips to kind of living a positive life? What do you put as guardrails around your life to live more positively?

I think number one is sleeping well. I know I feel happier when I, when I give myself the space to sleep and rest and look after myself.

So looking after myself would be one, uh, cause I think if you can't look after yourself, you certainly can't look after others. So you got to show up for yourself first and then you can help everyone else.

I also believe that surrounding yourself with people that make you happy, people that give you energy, you really, we all know that person you've been around that he just feel a bit lower after being around them.

Energy vampires, we call them. No. Dream thieves.

Dream thieves. Yeah. Even if it's, it's just small comments here and there.

Yeah. Like you're like, oh, I'm going to go become a world champion. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Good for you. Yeah.

I'm sure you can do it. Yeah. All the best for that.

Yeah. Yeah. There's such a difference between a good luck and good luck with that.

Yeah. Uh, one of those people, I feel like they just suck it out of yah. Yeah.

And it's, I think it's also really important when you're, when you're really chasing your dream to be around those good people, it makes all the difference. I wouldn't train as hard as I train without my coach there.

I wish I could. I can't. He pushes me to be better.

So you need these good people around you for that. And there's a difference between someone pushing you to be better and someone pushing you like negatively as well.

You know? Like Layne and I, we push each other to be better. The minute one of us is depleted, it can come across as like negative, but we don't, like

we know that they're doing it with love. And that is such a big difference to have that person in your life. And you just get to be able to communicate and they know where you're at.

Like if I'm completely ridden off, he's not going to make me do my hardest dives. But yeah, I think sleeping well, like honestly surrounding yourself with good people is a massive one.

And dreaming big, following what you actually want to do. Like I get up and I feel excited every day. I try to have that energy about me because I'm, I'm doing what I want to be doing.

I'm just, I'm trying to do it better. I'm trying to get better. Well, I'm going to give you a fourth tip is to stop trying.

I'm doing it, I'm doing it better every day. You've got this. You have got this.

That's part of the AI. I like how he took it. Do it for life, mate.

Do it. I need to keep this one with me. I need the.

Yes. Getting rid of the Y. I think it's in Star Wars.

No. He says don't try. It's Yoda.

Yeah. Do or do not. There is no try.

That's the one. We've had a lot of Star Wars references on this podcast. Yeah.

I've never seen it once. So I was born on May the fourth. So.

May the fourth. May the fourth be with you.

Is it a wake up call, is it a wake up call until you? Feel sad. I feel like you're going to feel bad and then you're like, oh better change that.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a gift.

Connecting with your energy, your emotion, your thoughts, everything is a gift. Because we always say that feedback is a gift, but it's an opportunity for you to see things a little bit differently.

Yeah. And I love the, if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Beautifully said.

Thank you for helping us see the world through your eyes, experiencing things a little bit differently. Wonderful view of the world.

I think you're such a, as raising young boys myself, I'm like, I want to get them in front of the Sam Frickers and the Harries and just to see what a positive mindset can do. Like you can still experience pain and anguish, but it's what you do with it that changes.

I couldn't agree more. It's not, you know, what happens may not even be your fault, but I think I've got to deal with it.

It's my responsibility to make the most when I dive poorly or if I have a bad day, like even if I feel bad, I think it's still my responsibility to try to make the most out of it.

Yeah. It's still tough for everyone. Like I think even if you've got the best mindset in the world, we all struggle.

Yes. So. It's just the time, like when you do the work, when you get therapy, when you learn the tools,

you listen to self help and you just keep expanding your knowing of self. The time of brokenness to rebound is much shorter. That's what I've noticed is like, I used to think doing this work, I'd eradicate those

feelings of depression, anxiety or self criticism or, you know, the anguish that you can feel when you're not where you want to be, but then I realized after like, it's probably been one of my biggest realizations in this is you'll never stop growing.

You never stop knowing, you never stop learning, but how that helps you is your pain time reduces. Might be less upset for as short as possible. Yeah.

Which is a beautiful gift. So Sam, how can our audience support you, follow you? I mean, Layne and I are going to be there poolside where your new mindset coaches.

I'm waiting for the Cinco to come back to the diving pool. Layne, they love the diving pool. They love the diving.

Yeah. Back to the one meter pool. What's your goal is to do the 10 meters, right?

Well, look, I've jumped off the 10 meter platform before and then Sam coached me through it and I overthought it. Might have been my bad coaching.

No. She was trying. I was trying.

She did hear that. I stopped trusting. I was trying.

So when I'm trying, I'm overthinking. And that's... I think that's beautiful.

That led to me doubting. So, but then I'd also led to me intuitively knowing that I was in that state so not to push it, not to just do it because I jumped off the seven and I gave myself a bit of whiplash.

So that's why I was like, let's go and do a synchronized backflip off the one meter springboard. That's beautiful. And I got a few million as well.

People love the backflip. I love doing backflips. I love the back in the pool doing more backflips.

Yeah. Please don't. No.

That was a lot of fun. I loved it. Yeah.

I loved it. Have you met Rhiannan Iffland? Yeah.

I love Rhianna. Yes. I go surfing with her often.

She's incredible. She's a 10 times world series Red Bull high diving champion. So shout out to Rhee.

She is extraordinary. Talk about... The best of the best.

... presence under pressure. I've even seen Rhee at training and she's injured. She can't do the training she needs to do to perform.

And she goes away and still wins. Yeah. And I'm like, she is incredible.

Yeah. There's an unlock of mental advantage in that to do that sort of level of diving too. Yeah.

And she's so herself at training. Yeah. And so present, she's having a shit day.

She's like, yeah, having a shit day. She just owns it. You need some coaching off her like so that you're not...

I love training. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm so lucky she trains for this. I think actually she was at training and she said, I was really annoying. But now we're friends.

Because you asked how, how, how. I think she actually asked her too many questions. Teach me, Rhee.

Teach me. How can people follow you? Where do I go?

Where do they go? If there's Google my name, I post even on LinkedIn, so. Yeah.

Yeah. Everywhere. Everywhere.

Everywhere. And everywhere. Sam Fricker.

Everywhere. What's one thing we can do as women to raise young, aware men? I think sports are a really great thing to put young men into.

It's the first thing I do with my kids. That always says that life's unfair, but it's still good. I think sports are a good teacher for that and teaching you how to control your, your

energy, how to control your emotions. And controlling my emotions is something I learned through sport. You have a bad day.

Okay. How do I deal with that? You know, I leave training not feeling great.

How do I, how do I manage those, those emotions and how do I come back and still show up my best and show up as the person I want to be, I think sport is a, is a great teacher for that.

Love it. Great leveler. All right.

What's your favourite self-help book? I'm a bad reader because I'm kind of dyslexic, but I love listening to Jim Rohn. Jim Rohn on audio book.

Jim Rohn. I'm sure he's written the book. Love it.

Yeah. All right, dream team. I'm sure this episode has resonated with your heart and your soul and you've seen the man

behind the diver that he is. And what a man you are, Sam. We will be rooting for you for what is LA?

LA2028. We know you're going to win. You know, you're going to stop trying, you're going to start trusting and we can't wait

to see what that does to your life. So from us to you, thank you, Sam, please share this episode with a loved one, maybe a younger man in your life or an older, I think we can all learn from you, Sam.

And from us to you, have a wonderful day, dream team. Toodles! Awake is a centre of human performance.

So if you want to bring more energy, motivation and connection to your team, reach out to us at [email protected].