Barry Du Bois: Human Connection Saved My Life
Mar 16, 2026Episode 23 · 16 March 2026 · 51 min
With Layne Beachley AO & Tess Brouwer, featuring Barry Du Bois
About this episode
How do you come back from the edge when life has stripped away your certainty, your identity, and your sense of self? In this raw and deeply moving episode, Tess and Layne sit down with Barry Du Bois to unpack the wake up calls that reshaped his life from the inside out. Barry shares the devastating road of infertility and repeated miscarriage, the crushing grief of losing his mother, his wife's cervical cancer diagnosis, and the depression that slowly disconnected him from everyone around him, including himself.
He opens up about the night he sat in his car and decided he had had enough, and the phone call from a former apprentice that interrupted everything. Barry reflects on the hug that became a turning point, the return of human connection, and the tiny moments that brought him back to life, from walking on the beach to feeling the sun on his chest again. They also explore what happened years later when Barry was told he had three months to live, why he asked one of the doctors to leave the room, and how self belief, curiosity, and a refusal to hand his story over to fear became central to the way he faced cancer, fatherhood, and life itself. Together they unpack masculinity, emotional suppression, resilience, mental health, community, and what it really means to live.
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Key takeaways
- Human connection can be the first step back to life. What interrupted Barry's darkest moment was not a perfect intervention or a piece of advice. It was a phone call, a voice that stayed with him, and a hug from someone who simply wanted him to know he was not alone. Feeling safe again became the first crack of light.
- Depression grows in silence and disconnection. Barry explains that true depression felt like a complete disconnection from other humans and from himself. Over time he stopped talking, stopped sharing, pushed people away, and lost the habits that anchor wellbeing. His story is a reminder that depression often builds slowly and invisibly.
- Curiosity is a powerful tool for healing. One of Barry's simplest but most profound practices is curiosity. How can I do this a little better? How can I connect better, eat better, move better, live better? That posture of curiosity helped him begin rebuilding when everything felt dark and shut down.
- Resilience is about adapting, not pretending to be tough. Barry speaks honestly about how trying to be the strong one disconnected him from emotion and support. What he now calls resilience is not stoicism or suppression. It is the willingness to adapt, to change, and to keep choosing life even when life does not go to plan.
- Living means giving others the best chance to thrive. After infertility, depression, cancer, and becoming a father later in life, Barry's definition of success has shifted. He is less interested in legacy and more interested in living. For him, living means strengthening his community and giving the people he loves the best opportunity to live well too.
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Transcript
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00:00Introduction▾
Layne Beachley & Tess Brouwer (00:00):
01:56A life of wake up calls▾
Barry Du Bois (01:56):
03:44Infertility, loss and a heavy burden▾
Barry Du Bois (03:44):
06:04Spiralling into depression▾
Barry Du Bois (06:04):
11:06Taking control of his treatment▾
Barry Du Bois (11:06):
15:57Three months to live▾
Barry Du Bois (15:57):
17:46Imposter syndrome and going public▾
Barry Du Bois (17:46):
20:35Changing the narrative▾
Barry Du Bois (20:35):
24:24Blaming himself for his mother's death▾
Barry Du Bois (24:24):
27:18The phone call and the hug that saved him▾
Barry Du Bois (27:18):
31:57Fatherhood and what living means▾
Barry Du Bois (31:57):
39:35Resilience versus vulnerability▾
Barry Du Bois (39:35):
44:05What he would tell the man in the car▾
Barry Du Bois (44:05):
47:04Human connection and the ripple effect▾
Barry Du Bois (47:04):
Frequently asked questions
What does Barry Du Bois talk about in this episode?▾
Barry shares the wake up calls that reshaped his life — infertility and repeated miscarriage, the grief of losing his mother, his wife's cervical cancer diagnosis, his own depression and a night in his car when he had had enough, the phone call and hug that brought him back, and later being told he had three months to live.
What pulled Barry back from his lowest point?▾
Human connection. Not advice or a fix — a phone call from a former apprentice, a voice that stayed with him, and a hug that let him feel safe again. From there, small moments like walking on the beach and feeling the sun on his chest brought him back to life.
How did Barry face his cancer diagnosis?▾
With self belief, curiosity and a refusal to hand his story over to fear. When told he had three months to live, he asked one of the doctors to leave the room and chose to stay curious about how he could live well, rather than collapse into the prognosis.
What does Barry mean by resilience?▾
Not toughness or suppression. For Barry resilience is the willingness to adapt, to change, and to keep moving toward life — the opposite of trying to be the strong, silent one, which only disconnected him from emotion and support.
Who hosts A Wake Up Call?▾
Seven-time world surfing champion Layne Beachley and co-founder Tess Brouwer, who together founded Awake Academy and host the weekly podcast.
Guest
Barry Du Bois
Builder, TV presenter and author — co-host of The Living Room, who has faced depression, grief and cancer
The wake up calls that brought Barry back to life — depression, grief, cancer and the power of human connection.
